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They say “You are only being kept alive by the incredible pressure of the train against you. When the train is removed you will bleed out and die.” With respect, I think you have always kept going because of the incredible pressure of “the train” (your life) against you. Now the train has Premium Xmas Couple Matching There’s A Cookie In This Oven Pregnancy shirt. Please hang on. Unlike the man in the story, you have a chance. You’ve answered every challenge (you raised, fed, changed and supported them) and can make it. There are people who can help. Find those people. Don’t be afraid to ask. The calm can be harder than the storm. You are a survivor. And an inspiration.

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I completely relate. I dealt with long term chronic illness of a loved Premium Xmas Couple Matching There’s A Cookie In This Oven Pregnancy shirt, I didn’t have panic attacks until after she passed. It’s like a vacuum is creates by the absence of the daily trauma. You may want to be evaluated for PTSD, if you haven’t. Also, look into square breathing. It was an enormous help to me. If you enjoy writing, try journaling. It’s very helpful to be able to see what kinds of days, activities, and feelings spark panic attacks, and then you can start to create a plan of action.