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I love Christmas. I love Michael Scott well happy birthday Jesus sorry your party’s so lame sweatshirt . I adore decorating, I am mesmerized by lights. Always have been. Eric died December 10 and I was, secretly, concerned my love had been extinguished forever. I wondered if I’d feel festive ever again. My mom died December 7, many years before, so my death track record is not good in my favorite month.

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I do have twinges of sadness when I see fb memories before life changed forever. I feel my breath suddenly stop. I remember what life was. I want it back. It’s fleeting and then I return to present times and look at my Michael Scott well happy birthday Jesus sorry your party’s so lame sweatshirt. My home looks like an elf regurgitated all over the place and I calm. Death, even the most cutting, doesn’t kill those left behind. I am clear evidence. I have friends mourning hard right now. Damned early death.

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However, while time doesn’t heal all wounds it does soften the scars. Joy is in my heart and I have many Michael Scott well happy birthday Jesus sorry your party’s so lame sweatshirt to be happy. I have children, spouse, family and friends abundant. I’m thankful, grateful and full of Christmas lights. Feel your feels, dear hearts. Work toward hope and joy, a day at a time. Happy holidays.