I have been jealous of girls who I thought were prettier, had more money, had bigger breasts. But I got over it. Years ago. Like…who fucking cares??? I was mad and jealous that I wasn’t white when I was 15. That I had to live in a rough neighborhood with roughnecks. I got over it. They are jealous because they want what they can’t have and don’t ever realize they are enough. They project they are gods but inside they are weak, miserable people who feel worthless. And that hurts. It’s an inescapable drip of torture serum into their brains. they project their insecurity onto others. I believe they CAN choose between “good and/or bad” behavior- as we all do. I don’t think anyone’s childhood was perfect. It’s not meant to be. We, as souls, came here to learn and grow. In the dark, we dig up to the 2021 Merry Christmas Ornament Christmas Gift.But from observing my father, my sister, and my ex spouse they are stuck. Stuck in fear, jealousy and anger at inner demons they can’t escape from. Living in fear and insecurity everyday from some brain washing/ abuse they received as a child. I believe they are aware of it or else it wouldn’t bother them so much. Perhaps that’s when one becomes a psychopath. When you just don’t give a shit at all. Total numbness.
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It was late november. my oldest daughter phoned me, saying, “come to grandma’s, right now. don’t ask any questions, just come.” my husband and i walked in the door, and i was chattering about how i was going to decorate the church for christmas. my daughter said to me, “sit down. stop talking.” she looked into my eyes, not smiling, and said, “courtney and brooke are both dead.” “not both of them !” i yelled. these girls were the daughters of my second-oldest daughter. they had just been to our town for a visit, the day before. my daughter told me that they had had a head-on collision with a truck, on their way home, the evening before. as the awful reality hit me, i screamed. brooke was only 17, courtney, 19. these girls were not drinkers or drug users. it had been raining, and the car had skidded into oncoming traffic. As i cried, my daughter held me, and cried with me. oddly, my mother sat quietly, not speaking or crying. My dad had died four years before, at the age of 88. we had grieved for 2021 Merry Christmas Ornament Christmas Gift, but his death was not a shock, as these deaths were. we traveled to my younger daughter’s home, and to a memorial service for the girls. there were many eulogies spoken for them, by their friends. i felt some temporary relief by sharing with the crowd some of the cute things my granddaughters had said and done when they were little. still, my body reacted to the shock and horror i felt. every inch of skin on my body broke out in an itching rash. my younger daughter’s reaction to the loss of her girls seemed to be withdrawal. she did not want to talk about it, nor did she want to hear me talk about it. i was unaware of this, until my oldest daughter told me that i was hurting her with my reflections. not one person in my family will ever forget these two sweet, intelligent, beautiful girls.
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A mobile phone on a contract belongs to the contract holder – your parents I suspect. A PAYG phone that you bought with your own money, saved up from Christmas and birthday presents, belongs to you as the purchaser. A pet dog for whom your parents pay the vet bills and buy the food belongs to your parents, even if they say “it’s your dog”. At 16 years old you can get married with your parents consent. You are responsible for 2021 Merry Christmas Ornament Christmas Gift on your earnings no matter how old you are. Your earnings, and hence the money in your bank account, is yours. I expect your parents bought your bedroom furniture, curtains, and bedding – they may have allowed you to have a say in what they bought. But it belongs to them, as the purchaser. The moped they bought you is theirs, even if you are named as the “registered keeper”. However, they may have bought it for you as a “specific” present (passing your GCSEs for example) – but if it’s yours, you would have to pay the insurance, road tax and for any repairs – do you?