I don’t know how to think about myself, and I haven’t in a long time. I don’t know how to communicate to anyone, I barely talk to others in real life. I can’t form relationships. I’ve been closed off since no one likes to talk to sad/tired people all the time. It’s caused me to have New Jersey Is A Blue State T-Shirt and just going going going. I’ve never been to the park down my street. I barely go to the movies and I work in the damn industry. I feel like an empty shell. ‘I just feel so lost right now. I’m searching for something but I don’t know what it is.’
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I hate to be a rainmaker, but people tend to marry to same type over and over, sometimes like New Jersey Is A Blue State T-Shirt, and those types just intuit your weaknesses. Take it slow and try to talk to a counselor or maybe a support group. I’m sure you felt like this with your husband at first. I had a friend who once told me she had a controlling father, a controlling husband and now her son was controlling. 30 years later she is still with him and he is still pissing off almost everyone he meets and knows. But he’s a charmer at first.