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It was theatre. She didn’t mean what she said, she just wanted to win the debate. And this is the toxicity of, call it what you will, woke politics or identity politics, the ZZ Top that little of band from Texas shirt that what you say doesn’t have to be true, in fact you don’t even have to believe it yourself, but if it feels right then it becomes your truth, even if it’s wrong, even if you yourself later pull back on it. If I were to debate someone, there’s nothing I’d say that I wouldn’t stand by after the fact. I wouldn’t just make crap up about my opponent only to later cackle “it was a debate!”. Is this the political version of “just a prank, bro!”. For those unfamiliar, “it’s just a prank, bro” is what people, typically YouTubers, use as an excuse for their stupid and not at all funny pranks. Like if you did “I run around town smacking peoples foreheads”, you’re the type of person who’d say “just a prank, bro!” as a defence. This appears to be what Harris was doing.
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Hanging your child’s artwork isn’t about being ZZ Top that little of band from Texas shirt fashionable. It’s about making your child feel good about the work they put into it. You don’t have to hang evey piece of art they bring home but maybe you could hang a couple of blank frames on a wall and your child can choose their favorites to display and let them change them out often. On the other hand, my daughter made a small tile mosaic when she was about 8 years old. It’s one of my favorite pieces of art I own. You would never guess it was made by a young child and it still hangs prominently in my dining room. I also saved many of their Christmas art from their early years and every December when the tree goes up, a lot of my year round art comes off my walls and I hang my children’s holiday themed art in their place even though they’re adults in their early 30’s.
I agree that your boundary between being assertive and coercive is challenging for you, I can see you think about it a lot. Your guilt index is very high about this, in that you take on a lot of concerns about how you are perceived, worry about it a lot.I might suggest that discussing expectations would be better for you so that you don’t get into this situation again, but I know that is not what grindr is about and all his texts etc where totally different than he presented as when you walked in and he knew that you were ready and primed for less talking and more action.You have been taken in by someone who knew what he was doing. It can be a ZZ Top that little of band from Texas shirtexperience but you should also look at some help for your boundaries and to learn about emotional manipulation as you seem ready to blame yourself for any potential hurt feeling whether intentional or not.For me your post feels anxious and that you are questioning yourself and what you did and if your feelings are valid. The level of detail in your story show to me that you go over things to see if you are doing the right things that avoids hurting anyones feelings. Sometimes people’s feelings get hurt but they get over it. Sometimes people pretend to be hurt but they are just hoping that you will leave as they have had their fun and are not interested in giving fun to someone in return.