Then I went to college. This is the allignment change I remember Wife Mom Kindergarten Teacher Superhero T-Shirt. Freshman year, last semester, I took a class with a highly respected, world-known child psychologist. It was called Human Growth and Development. She didn’t agree with tests and quizzes, the class was heavily discussion based, and at least during our block, the discussion was always heated. Particularly, I recall the day we discussed discipline and parent-inflicted corporal punishment. I was, to my professor’s surprise, on the side in favor of corporal punishment. Pain helps you remember, or isn’t that what you’d always say before delivering a sentence on [eldest brother] and me? But she said something important: “Just because your parents love you, it does not condone physical abuse.” I had always justified you by saying you handled [eldest brother] and I because that was how you were raised, you couldn’t help it. I deserved it. It’s character building.
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Father, there are two types of people in this world: those who believe they’ve Wife Mom Kindergarten Teacher Superhero T-Shirt, so why shouldn’t everyone else? and those who believe they’ve suffered, so why should anyone else? Which one are you, dad? When you mentioned the times someone would spank you or worse as a child, I never believed that you deserved that sort of punishment. Your family supposedly loved you, they knew you were smart, talented even. They could have just… explained what you’d done wrong and taught you how to make it right. You would have understood. I had such a low opinon of myself that I believed I deserved what you’d give. But in the eyes of the law, of medical and psychiatric professionals, perhaps even in the eyes of God, it was wrong. I do NOT hate you, and I need you to know that. But after learning through that class exactly how that affected the sort of person I was to become, I could not help but be a bit bitter at your thought process. What the hell were you thinking? This subject matter is between me, you, [eldest brother], and Grandma. No one else. Rest assured that I will never expose this secret to anyone unless I am guaranteed confidentiality in a therapist’s office. But I would encourage you to imagine the look you might see on [little bothers]’ faces if they ever heard that Daddy used to pull off his belt and whip Sissy and Little [eldest brother] with it. If the true Christians at your church were to know, would they clap you on the shoulder and say good on you? You are a very pensive man, and if Atlas carried the world on his shoulders then surely you carry the Universe. However, if there is one thing where I must say you failed me, it was that. I will not divulge how it affects me and my ability to engage with males. But enough time has passed since those years that we should be able to constructively discuss and agree that that was a poor, poor idea. Thank God for your wife who makes you a better man every day.
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