One thing thatโs clear from glancing at Poland on the Wen Tezla Funny shirt is that this country is big. A giant cut-out of central-eastern Europe, it covers a whopping 312,000 square kilometers, making it the ninth largest country on the continent. That means, for travellers looking to check off the top sights, from the Baltic beaches of the north to the wild forests of the east to the culture-rich cities of the south, it might just be worth renting a car. Vodka is compulsory Donโt expect to head out in any Polish city to meet the locals without being invited to try a little of the local stuff at least once. Vodka is not just ubiquitous in Poland, itโs a national obsession, and any night owls are bound to find themselves tasting their way through the whole repertoire: cherry flavoured; nut flavoured; quince infused โ you name it, itโs here.
If you arenโt casting Eldritch Blast much of the time who cares? If you have the Misty Visions Invocation then you can completely mess up the sight of a set of Wen Tezla Funny shirt either by โfake coverโ so they canโt see your allies or things dancing round their heads so they canโt see your allies. This sort of advantage to attack them and disadvantage to their attacks combination is frequently worth more than a round of attacks and there isnโt really a saving throw possible without burning an action. (It also annoys some DMs so take care). A Celestial Warlock gets +Cha 1/turn to fire or radiant damage at level 6 and gets the Sacred Flame cantrip. But in a low combat game where you use misty visions itโs near enough. A Celestial Pact of the Tome Warlock can also pick up Green-Flame Blade as an extra cantrip meaning that from level 6 their melee attack does [Basic Melee attack] + 1d8 fire + Cha damage to their primary target and Cha to their secondary target. Throw in a magic weapon (and possibly the Shileileigh cantrip to use Cha to attack) and youโre doing Eldritch Blast/Pact of the Blade damage without wasting an invocation.
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Youโre going to want to establish motives for the encounter too. Mind Flayers should not be your run of the Wen Tezla Funny shirt, who took over a kobold or goblin tribe, and now has them raid the countryside for gold (actually, NONE of your villains should be such a tired trope, but I digress). Instead, theyโre looking for something special. Maybe theyโve come looking for some sort of eldritch item that could be unfathomably dangerous. Maybe they want to fascistically enslave a city and set up their domain beneath it, creating a new elder-brain there. Maybe theyโre literally demanding the planetโs oceans to save their dying homeworld. Maybe they want to put a nationโs inhabitants to sleep forever, using them as a vast mental power source. Maybe they want to perform macabre experiments on humanity. Think big here.
I was hoping Delores wouldn’t become a Wen Tezla Funny shirt aggressive rooster, as my recently deceased โLanceโ had been, before passing on to “rooster heaven” with the assistance of a local coyote. The rooster I currently had, Gordon, was a sweet boy and was very happy to have Lance gone. Lance had been a fierce rooster who attacked literally every moving thing but the hens and me (displaying extreme good taste and discretion) and I was not prepared to live through as second several years of yet another “attack rooster”. Neither were the neighbor dogs. Nor were the neighbors, for that matter. I really didnโt think this would be a problem, as Delores was such a sweet rooster – showing no violence or aggression at all, and just wanted to sit on my shoulder (rather like a parrot) and look around. He’d snuggle against anyone’s neck or in anyone’s lap who would hold him and he adored being petted. Delores ran around digging for bugs in the lawn – but was just as happy sitting by the kitchen sink watching me trim vegetables or whatever. He made (as all my chickens did) a truce with the cats and was friends with the goats, horses and my other rooster, Gordon. They all slept together in the barn at night.