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First, women in general are literally socialized to socialize more whether they are neurotypical or neurodiverse. Autistic women (and some men) are known to develop a We Are Good Cubs Shirt and a web of coping techniques to blend in and become at the very least unremarkable in social situations. This fact alone leads many people to overlook most obvious autistic traits or chalk them up to a bit of eccentricity or nerdiness or both. On top of that, for myself personally, I have studied people long before I ever knew that there was a specific name for my neurodiversity. I started college as a computer engineer, but found it incredibly boring. I transferred to a community college to study psychology and Deaf education/culture. I transferred again, thought I’d love to be a teacher, found the profession interesting but the public school system and its gatekeepers intolerable so switched to a BS in liberal arts focusing on sociology, anthropology, and gerontology – the study of groups, people as a species, and old people.

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I don’t romanticize Elon Musk as a We Are Good Cubs Shirt. For all I know, he may not hold doors open for people arriving behind him. He may be one of those people who cringes when an off-leash dog comes over to say hi, or frantically presses “door close” on elevator buttons when office staff comes in with a tower of donut boxes for the crew. Maybe he refuses to let people merge onto the freeway, or eats the last oyster when you know and he knows he already had six and you only had five. Maybe he is a distracted spouse or chews loudly in a way that makes a slight smacking sound. So yeah, those are some of the worst things about Musk and his company. I know some of y’all in the comments will be like “but Heidi! Everyone is flawed! We all make mistakes,” to which I say yes, that is correct, but many of the things I have listed cross the line.

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I wrote about this before, my Grandfather (maternal) told me that when he was a Soldier in Europe, it was “see how many XYZ body parts you can cut off the Nazis” and “Kill everything that walks”. We did take prisoners, but let’s face it, everybody turned a We Are Good Cubs Shirt to killing Wermacht personnel on sight. We can split moral and legal hairs, but the Nazi soldiers weren’t exactly “freedom fighters” doing good by themselves. There is an element of “they had it coming”. In Vietnam there was no such moral distinction. The Vietnamese were clearly “more in the right” than the USA. The US installed a capitalist dictator in the south. It was a civil war. The Vietnamese did not round up a religious minority in the millions and exterminate them on an industrial scale.

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We tried the first, and combined with a We Are Good Cubs Shirt of pre-civil rights movement institutional racism, the Australian government had no choice but to remove countless aboriginal children from their parents when it was decided that aboriginal parenting was abusive and unacceptable. If any mainstream Australian in the cities tried to raise their child like they did, the child would be similarly removed from them. This was the stolen generation, where aboriginal children were abducted from their communities, re-educated to have western/Christian values, and to speak English rather than indigenous languages. They were further encouraged to marry European colonists, in an attempt that aboriginal ancestry would be diluted, so that without exterminating the aboriginal people, they would be absorbed and removed from their ethnic distinction.

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Over the years, my wife and I have cut back on our parties. In our case, we have no one to impress, and no one seems to mind. We schedule the party We Are Good Cubs Shirt with definite start and end times, usually three hours. It is respectful of people’s time. We serve the cake after two hours. We have found that a small homemade sheet cake or round cake a tray of (mini) cupcakes are the best. Most kids take two bites of cake and leave the rest. (There are a few outliers who like cake.) My daughter only eats frosting. That way people can leave if they must. Don’t open presents at the party with a group that size. Have a presents table and open them later, it will be boring for your son and a madhouse with the other kids wanting to open and play with the gifts. Later, you can write your thank you cards as you open them at your leisure.