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Rewind several hours to late afternoon, late January, at a Tenrouken Gun Hawkmoon Can’t One Tap Shirts, the sky the color lead, wind kicking up with cold fingers that dug under your collar, blew your skirt into an angry tangle around your legs and spit angry flakes of snow that stuck to your windshield like lost moths before vanishing again in the next gust. I knew the storm was coming, everyone in the area knew, it was all over the radio and truckers would talk about, the coming north easter, and “to get somewhere safe and only drive if you have to.” Even the truck stop was talking about closing up until the storm passed, though by the time I pulled out they were still open for business. Why’d I leave? Well I’d been parking there for around two (three?) days at the time, and people were starting to take notice I was lingering, and when that happens it’s usually time to find somewhere else to park for a few days before they decide to notify the police, or the wrong sort of people decide you’re an easy target for carjacking, or worse. So I, after much deliberation, (given gasoline was in short supply at the time) decided to risk driving a few towns over and taking my chances riding out the storm at a park and ride. (a place where people park their vehicles when car pooling or catching the bus that stopped there twice a day). There was a few possible routes I could take that were on paved roads and heavily traveled highways, but no, being more concerned with fuel than safety I opted for a short cut which in this case amounted to a narrow stretch of dirt road running between two of the townships and would shave several miles off my travel distance and some precious gasoline.

Sure, it’s gorgeous.. if you like burnt red tourists piling on top of each other as far as the eye can see. Have you see a waterpark in China? maybe not, but you can imagine what a shopping mall looks like on Xmas Eve in New York. Well Bondi Beach is comparatively not so dissimilar. Honestly, NSW (New South Wales, the State in which Sydney is) boats so many beautiful beaches that you could forget Bondi all together. The whole of Bondi itself is hipster-ville and you don’t see many (any?) real Aussie locals, probably forced out by the myriad backpacker hostels and shared rental houses. Everything is overpriced (and that says something in a Tenrouken Gun Hawkmoon Can’t One Tap Shirts that is already ridiculously expensive), and you better love dogs (it’s part of the hipster manifesto that one must love dogs, preferably have on and show him off when putting on a sweat/going to Pilates/Yoga/getting a health smoothie or that Vegan banana açai breakfast bowl… or anything where you can bring the dog) and have a business that allows dogs in. Fortunately I do love dogs. But that’s irrelevant and not a reason to love a beach.
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I remember once sitting at a birthday dinner for a great uncle next to a relative who was at the time perhaps around 60 years old. Very nice person always but bottled up. And then he sort of breaks character and Tenrouken Gun Hawkmoon Can’t One Tap Shirts said a few not nice things that let me realize that he was still hurt because his dad did not pay enough attention to him when he was a kid and beyond. And I thought, “Dude, when are you going to get over that?” I don’t think he ever did. And when his dad died, he didn’t give him a funeral. You pass that stuff on to your kids so it’s worth fixing: if you feel slighted, they will carry that in some way. It was like a wake up call to me to get my house in order. It was all happening around the same time as I had this realization.
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What this means over my life is that I have friends now who grew up with money, and many close friends that grew up with nothing, like me. Like, “we can’t afford 2 hot dogs in your generic mac n cheese this week” nothing. First, relativity of wealth. Last week my sister had her tires slashed. It was $150 to replace them. She came to me in tears, panicked. That amount of Tenrouken Gun Hawkmoon Can’t One Tap Shirts was insurmountable, and she’d be stranded, alone, helpless. What could she do? Last week I also bought my girlfriend concert tickets for Xmas. VIP/$500 tickets. I didn’t blink. (I bought my sister tires for anyone wondering. I take care of mine, they’re just proud.) Most don’t have a big brother. What people don’t understand is that a carbon tax that is “obviously a good idea” would “only” raise someone’s monthly bills $40/month is a killer for some people. They can’t fathom this idea that this could be a lot of money.

For my situation, what I’m trying to do right now is to just give him space and Tenrouken Gun Hawkmoon Can’t One Tap Shirts respect the fact that he needs it. On the other hand, I’m left hanging on the fact that he said it wouldn’t “be long” before he gets back to me and we would talk. This was last year. It’s really hard for me to get over someone whom I felt really close to and truly liked a lot. What bugs me is he even said that he will get back to me but apparently basic communication such as keeping that other person informed and updated is too much of a strain, even though they said they would do so (no common courtesy or respect -> trust is slipping away). But I understand he is stressed with his career, family issues, and other struggles, so I’m trying to not let it bother me too much. If he is interested and has the emotional capacity to handle interpersonal relationships, he will be back.