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I am always considering the value of a Taco Bell Wendys Skull Shirt to the others in his life as well as greater society. In other words, someone who gives a damn. People with passion to make our world a kinder place warm the cockles of my chilly little INTJ heart, even if they do it in small ways, like volunteering at a local soup kitchen once a month or writing a monthly check to a charitable cause. The broader one’s interest palette, the more interesting I find them. Just as I am curious about the world, those who are always trying out new talents, hobbies, and interests are a perpetual wellspring of intellectual engagement. I find people who are married to a sport or physical activity on the dull side. Once they age out of that (as we all do), they won’t have much to talk about. I need someone who knows things that I don’t so I can continue to learn as well.
Your feelings are valid. I’m sorry you felt like Taco Bell Wendys Skull Shirt. It’s not fun. With that being said, you’re also correct when you write that having zero expectations for hookups is probably the best policy. Things just don’t always go how you expect. Sometimes things go better than you expect but sometimes they’re worse as is the case here. Speaking for myself, I usually try and get a sense of what the other person is specifically looking for before even agreeing to see them. Sometimes I can tell they just want to get off and I’m ok with that because I also want that. Other times I can tell they’re looking for something more involved and we talk about what that means. It’s very important for both people to be on the same page about what’s going to happen otherwise people get hurt, disappointed, or worse.