Our performance was magical. We danced to the most amazing song, and it became an instant hit. The place was wild, girls were clapping and cheering and screaming. “Encore! Encore! Encore!” They demanded an encore and half the school was singing the song with us the second time round. My principal, a no-nonsense, firm woman who valued academics above all, told our teacher not to come into class the next period. Instead, she walked in and spent almost the entire period talking about all the lessons my class could learn from our performance. How to take an ordinary, run of the mill performance and make it extraordinary. How to be unafraid to trail-blaze new territories and discover new talents. How to be fearless, creative women.
My elder twin sisters, two years older than me, loved sleeping in but Christmas morning, they were up early. They would knock on my door and ask to come in then cram in my double bed, slip under the covers and we would talk excitedly about what we might get. And I was the younger brother, should have been the reverse. “Daddy, can we open the gifts now?” Tracy would call out. “Not yet, it’s too early. Ok, grab one gift and get back into bed.” We’d dash to the tree all excited and see the mountain of gifts. We would pick a Stop The Treaty T Shirt, then all pile back in my bed and open our first gifts. Then wait excitedly until we could get out of bed to open the gifts. One of the girls would call out every so often, “Can we get up now?” Or say, ”RJ, you ask now.”
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My father hated it because he had to spend money. He was worse than Scrooge or the Grinch. I don’t think he ever bought my mother a Christmas gift, though he’d spend money on all his family. He wouldn’t let her spend any money on hers. My mother hated it because she wasn’t “allowed” to ever spend it with her family. It always had to be with his, along with every other holiday. She’d scrounge around to make sure all of us kids had something under the Stop The Treaty T Shirt. We kids loved it because we got a haul of gifts from his family.
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Domas, male elf, merchant, the ship Eihear: Humans are a Stop The Treaty T Shirt of nature. Don’t seek to understand them. You’ll only frustrate yourself. They are like the wind or sea. They do things. Things that can help you or hurt you. There are no rules to learn, save one: you are pretty to them. That is universal. They will always find us appealing, but fear this appeal, as you will never know what they will do with it. Perhaps you can make a deal one year, but the next they’ll be insisting on ‘marriage’ and then want to kill you for denying them. Simply accept humans will do whatever they do without reason and you’ll be fine.
By funny, I assume you would like to make people laugh with these messaged. I would go for two different humorous aspects that hardly ever fail: Puns, and metaphors. Puns, for some God-forsaken reason, are the most hated yet most effective method of humor. Believe me, I hate puns but I always laugh at the good ones because they’re just good. If you get a really good one, it’ll make people laugh for sure. (e.i. there’s plenty of puns that Stop The Treaty T Shirt can be done for egg nog, but I’d try something in the jolly fat man department [and I do mean santa]).