When I first started dating my current girlfriend about two years ago, I got her orange flowers for Star Wars Red Squadron Rebel Poster shirt birthday because I thought she had said orange was her favorite color. She loved the flowers but asked “why orange?” And I said “because that’s your favorite color, right?” She just laughed and wondered why in the world I thought that (her favorite color is green). But now for any romantic occasion where I get flowers for her, she basically demands that they be orange just so we can have a laugh.I have a male coworker who will stand really close behind me or my other female coworkers. Sometimes it scares the shit out of me because I’ll turn around and he’s there right behind me. Guys, what is this? Is it a power move? I’m so tempted to say back the fuck up when he does this.He’s also helpful in a way that implies he thinks me or my other female coworkers aren’t capable. Women, you know exactly what I’m talking about. There’s a difference between offering to help and then completely taking over a task from someone without asking.
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I’ve had lots of male coworkers touch me unnecessarily, box me into a Star Wars Red Squadron Rebel Poster shirt, even massage my shoulders, etc. It’s so uncomfortable and surprisingly difficult to confront them about it, which feels terrible because I know a man would just say “what the fuck, dude?” and that would be the end of it. I usually just awkwardly laugh and say “whoa, personal space!”.One of the PIs I worked under in my undergrad talked about this. She basically said, “You kind of have to accept they’re going to think you’re a bitch for telling them to back off. As long as you aren’t a bitch to people for silly reasons, everybody else will understand.”