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The term for what you’re describing is the halo effect (aka pretty privilege) and it’s a Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt real thing that you’ve experienced the short end of – you can look up studies if you’re interested, but it’s responsible for a pay gap that’s close to the gender pay gap in the EU (and is greater than it in some countries) and a plethora of other advantages that add up over a lifetime so I’m not sure why it’s considered offensive to acknowledge that it exists other than it makes people who’ve benefitted from it uncomfortable, or that it’s vaguely similar to the garbage that incels spout (which still doesn’t make it any less real) Your experience of discrimination is backed up by hard evidence and is more than valid, pointing out that you have a more difficult experience that those in a position of Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt over you don’t face and can’t ever truly comprehend is not taking anything out on anyone, it’s acknowledging reality. Is a Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt pointing out how she’s paid less taking it out on men or saying they have zero problems? No, and a man saying she shouldn’t complain because he has it just as bad would be considered tone deaf and invalidating for good reason.
Does that actually work? I’ve always played feminine characters and the Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt I’ve ever gotten was thirteen year old boys following me around everywhere asking me if I was a real girl, saying they were in love with me and then getting angry when I said I was married. One kid acted SO BETRAYED like I got married just to spite him. Two decades prior to meeting him. The one time I got free stuff, it was a MUD so there were no visual representations to sway someone. I just got to be good friends with an admin, who occasionally give things away (I did too after I became one). Now though I play a Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt of Animal Crossing, where I can’t wait to give things away to everyone I meet.
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Ok this is going to be a bit of a Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt. I apologise beforehand. My gender expression is a Shredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt more obvious on this particular alt. And my profile has preferred pronouns on it. A couple of days ago – on a completely unrelated sub, someoneβs counter to a discussion I thought was being had in good faith was basically this – βYou canβt even decide if youβre male or female so donβtβ¦ β etc etc.. Every other week, I go through the process of scrubbing my profile just to obscure my gender identity a bit – just to avoid people sliding into my DMs. Iβve had people ask me extremely inane shit like βoh, are you into XYZ video game, I have never met another woman who plays.β And Iβve been called vile, sexist names for drawing boundaries with these kind of interactions. But thatβs just Reddit, right? Canβt take that shit seriously. You ignore and you move on. Itβs so much more jarring when you see this behaviour offline. Idk if this is even theShredded Cheese eat it directly out of the bag shirt to discuss this. Iβm in a committed relationship cishet setup. Today, I pointed out to my partner how our family members β usually extremely gung-ho about celebrating the women in the family this one day β completely forgot their yearly tradition because it was also Holi. I was just lightheartedly pointing out just how their posturing has been completely exposed. All it took was another Hindu festival to completely knock off the annual βletβs appreciate our wives and mothersβ forwards. Holy shit, did that blow up in my face! My partner then proceeded call me bitter and mansplain why womenβs day is important. All this without an iota of the knowledge of the history of these celebrations! Didnβt even bother reading the token editorials and explainers on it. When I added some context, pointed out some of my issues with it (I neednβt list them, this sub has far better posts on that, Iβm sure) the only counter argument to my responses was to attack my rationality and mental health – βwhat is wrong with your headβ Just the sheer irony of this situation makes me cry-laugh. But it was lost on my partner. This man used to preside over MUNs in college?! So thatβs been March 8, 2023 for me, folks. π