Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt

My funny story is when Santa put himself on the naughty list. I travelled the Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt home from work a few years ago, and I enjoyed all the Christmas lights and decorations every night. One house had a huge blow up Santa on top of the garage, with his arm raised, waving at you when the wind blew. One day I left work early, and it was still daylight. As I turned the corner on this windy day, I saw Santa was a bit deflated. He was slightly bent over and his arm had fallen down so that his hand was between his legs, and the wind was blowing a bit, and he was gently bobbing up and down, up and down, and he seemed to be enjoying himself entirely too much! I was crying with laughter, and I can never look at Santa again without flashbacks.

(Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt)

Both were tremendous multi-sport athletes. Brown excelled at football, baseball, basketball, track and lacrosse. In high school, Brown earned varsity 13 letters in those sports. Brown still holds several NFL records and he did it all in only nine years of playing for Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt  the Cleveland Browns. Brown is in THREE halls of fame. The Pro Football, College Football and Lacrosse halls of fame. Deion was a great player in the NFL for five team, the Atlanta Falcons and Dallas Cowboys among others, and a great college player at Florida State. He played Major League Baseball for four teams, including the Cincinnati Reds and Atlanta Braves. Like Brown, Sanders in the Pro Football and College Football halls of fame, but it’s doubtful he’ll make Cooperstown. But it wasn’t for a Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt of trying (except when he was on the Yankees). My nod goes to Jim Brown as he dominated in everything he did. Deion was great, but he was more interested in putting on a show or being a hot dog than he was a team player.

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When Delores spent his first night actually out with the other chickens in the Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt, I was anxious about how he would handle himself, as he was pretty shy. After a few false starts (and getting pushed off perches by the other chickens) he chose a walnut branch that lead to the night perches and slept on that. When Delores became a big, beautiful Golden Phoenix adult rooster, I thought the hens would probably make absolute fools of themselves trying to get his attention – and if he ignored them it would serve them right! I suppose I should have done something about the name – but Delores responded to “Delores” and appeared fine with it. (Also, my Aunt Delores would have been devastated if I changed his name.) A friend suggested calling him “Del” – which sort of made sense – but that sounded like he was lead singer in a retro 60’s band. As long as Delores didn’t mind – and let’s face it, he didn’t care – I was perfectly content to have a sweet rooster named Delores.

(Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt)

Among my duties was to keep seasonal decorations up to date. In this huge store that meant everything from designing window murals on glass to puppet displays in the Save a biker open your fucking eyes and get off your God damn phone shirt and decorations hung from the ceiling. That year I decided I wanted to have Santa having a beach Christmas as a new thing- I had not seen it done before. The signpainter and I sat down and designed a scene where Santa’s sleigh was drawn by kangaroos and koalas sat on the sand with waves in the background. This was for the huge front windows. Well the signwriter went away and came back with stencils he’d cut of the scene and asked me if he could use them for other clients. I said yes, that year Santa on the beach became very popular!