That is completely beside the point and separate from what you are observing in the Pirates Arrgh shirt to this child being in the legal custody of said narcissist. I am glad you are there, but I get that you are afraid to report to CPS, it seems reasonable to assume it is you. It comes down to how much you can keep the relationship amicable enough to keep her most of the time or if the physical risk to her when she’s not with you is too much. It might be a Solomon’s baby dilemma. A lot of good advice in these posts about data collection and documentation and that you may have to be brave for her and call and risk losing your relationship with her.
And finally, those are me today. I just took those. Do I look happy in the last Pirates Arrgh shirt ? I have no idea because all I feel is the exact opposite of happy. I’m exhausted. It’s eight am and I haven’t slept. I’m sad and empty and drained and lightheaded and shitty. The pictures from today where I look dead and empty and tired? That’s how I feel all the time. Constantly. Even when I’m smiling or laughing. I feel like I’m fighting a battle for a war I’m losing. I feel like a failure.
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I’ve tried a few drugs in my time. I’ve smoked weed a few Pirates Arrgh shirt . I did coke a couple times. Neither really did much of anything for me, and I’m not terribly interested in either. But MDMA. Wow. I loved MDMA. My very first time, I spent the entire night in a haze of love and contentment. I sat for a couple hours on a couch talking with a friend of mine, and chatting about how much I loved my brother and our childhood growing up. I sat with one dude, who was dressed in women’s clothing (it was Halloween), and stroking his thighs because I loved the way his fishnet stockings felt. It was fantastic. Police could have walked up to me and informed me of my parents’ deaths, and I would have replied “well, that’s a bummer.”
When I was young, I would pig out on sugar whenever I was at a birthday party or anywhere else my Pirates Arrgh shirt weren’t in control of me. Then I hit college. I kept going on the whole, “Yay, sugar!” thing for a while, but I soon realized that I didn’t like how it made me feel. Emotionally, I felt out of control and obnoxious. People either laughed at my crazy sugar-high antics or just avoided me because it freaked them out. I didn’t like the way it made my body feel, either. My belly would hurt, and I would feel disconnected from reality.