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Besides the shock and horror and depression and genuine concern for my personal life and the country and world in general, it finally almost broke my relationship with my mother. We’ve always disagreed politically, as well as on my lifestyle but I somehow always assumed and wondered if she was partially or completely right on issues of disagreement or at least had some good points. Occasionally in the heat of spouting talking points I’d doubt that she had any sense or knowledge at all, but once she voted for that “man” I snapped. I cancelled my trip to visit for xmas and stopped speaking to her almost completely until the petition started going around to get the electors to jump ship and when she finally signed it I decided to act like her son again as long as she never breathes another word about politics to me again. I now realize she is totally just another brain dead FOX automaton and I can’t stand seeing her that way. As long as she just talks about flowers and friends and jobs and hobbys and dogs etc I can forget what she’s become, but it came pretty close to her losing her son completely. In a way I feels like I have lost her, or at least all of my respect for Official Vintage 1927 Limited Edition shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt. And it’s really sad.
I could write reams of these because his “triggers” about me insulting and criticizing everything about him from his virility to his intelligence, honor, bravery, loyalty and work ethic were so frequent that I became fearful of saying anything at all. The common thread in these interactions was that in his disordered mind, I was calling him inferior, unintelligent, unattractive, lazy, low class, bad in bed, uneducated and a coward. All things that he felt about himself deep in his subconscious. In my opinion, narcissists live on murky waters covered with an extremely thin layer of ice. When anything they construe as criticism or an insult is heard by them, the protective ice of Official Vintage 1927 Limited Edition shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt their ego cracks a little, threatening them with a fall into the depths of self hatred and doubt. So they react by going into a rage in order to stave off those doubts Even if it seems like a narcissist is triggered by something else, like a co worker getting promoted or their mother giving a sibling a better gift than them at Xmas or you asking them to take out the trash, in the end, I think it’s all about ego for them.
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She was… disappointed to say the least. She has never liked cats as long as I can remember. When I was much younger we had found a little of Official Vintage 1927 Limited Edition shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt in a cousin’s barn and my mother flat out refused to allow us to keep one, though she did admit that they were cute. Anyway, after years of hearing me say the same thing around Christmas time, “Nothing,” she decided that if I was going to ask for something she was going to give it to me. She took me out to a vet’s office and showed me little Lois. Lois has been dropped off by someone for a medical procedure and the person had never returned for her. The vet explained this was common when someone wanted an animal to be in good health but really couldn’t afford the bill. I was appalled that someone could just abandon such a sweet little animal and that was the day we adopted our first cat. None of my family members really liked her that much, they were all dog people after all, but she didn’t seem to mind. She would keep to herself, hiding in closets and basements and coming out to play with me when she got lonely. At 18, I decided to move out and she came along with me.
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I had a really sweet deal. I was living on the beach in Redondo and took a job in Palos Verdes as waiter/wine buyer the coup of this job was the commute, 15 minutes, which, in LA is s dream situation. It was a neighborhood restaurant in an upscale neighborhood (Palos Verdes), the clientele were great and steady. I got Lakers tickets for Xmas (yes, to the 81 point game, no shit) had a standing glass of wine on a Official Vintage 1927 Limited Edition shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt tables most nights and I was home by midnight everynight. As it happened my coke dealer lived in the same building. I had a standing order 1.25 to 1.5 gr for 60 bucks. I had my dog, Single malt scotch in the cool weather, a bottle of belvedere in the freezer for warm weather. Anyway, this guy (my dealer) had a crew at his place all the time who did his errands, cleaning, etc.. and as a part of their “compensation’ they were mostly, when I was there, shooting the shit and passing the pipe. I smoked the cocaine. Bought powder from dude, rocked it up and did my thing.
Most atheists never believed in God, because that’s the proper noun used as a Official Vintage 1927 Limited Edition shirt hoodie, sweater Shirt for the specific deity that only Christians and Mormons believe in. Jews do not use the full name God, but leave out a letter, even if they aren’t avoiding using another name instead, they write G-d. Muslims usually use the name Allah. But most people aren’t even “people of the book” at all, and instead believe in different deities, Vishnu, Coyote, Thor, etc etc etc. Since people fall away from all forms of belief to become atheist, it follows that most atheists never did believe in “God”, the deity who is named like you might name your pet dog “Dog.” “Simply because their prayers weren’t answered” doesn’t cut it, either, although I suppose it is true for some. Atheists differ wildly from each other, not just in what, if anything, they used to believe in, and perforce how they once thought prayer was supposed to work and thus whether or not it was ever answered, but also in the route they took to get here. But taking the thin pie wedge of atheists who were Christian, we still have the apologists who say “sometimes the answer is no” or “God works in mysterious ways” and so forth. Unanswered prayers is a gap that Christians have worked hard to plug, they, on their own, are unlikely to be the single cause of losing faith…although I’ll grant that the shoddy nature of the plugs is likely a contributing factor.