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I was…oh…eight or nine. I woke up one Christmas morning and immediately ran to the Its Not A Party Until A Few Show Up Cats shirt, in front of which was the usual spot for Santa gifts. I waited for what felt like an eternity (it was probably five minutes) for my parents and grandparents to fix their coffee. I remember being so amped up I was almost vibrating. Finally, my parents unleashed my sister and I. We attacked our presents with a will. The second one I opened from Santa was a VHS copy of The Land Before Time. On the plastic wrap was a red circle sticker with those pretty golden arches on them. Almost immediately I remembered that McD’s was running a deal that if you bought X you could get a VHS of this same movie (I feel like there were others available as well). My heart froze. I was already an accomplished liar and con artist at this point in my life so I recovered and faked it for the rest of the day. Soon I moved past it. Santa didn’t hold the same appeal for me the next year. He didn’t visit after that.
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During his lifetime (3rd-4th century), he was a wealthy Christian bishop, with a reputation for Its Not A Party Until A Few Show Up Cats shirt. Legend has it that he once threw bags of money into the window of a home in which three young girls lived, to provide dowries for them so they could marry. There is another legend that he saved three children from being boiled alive, so he is sometimes depicted next to a large vat containing three children. His feast day is December 6. The Dutch name for him was Sinterklaas, so it’s not hard to see how he was gradually blended into the Christmas season, and evolved into a jolly elf named “Santa Claus,” who travels to houses and leaves gifts for children.