This is so true and it is empowering to hear that I’m not alone in these struggles. I will I’m Still Hot It Just Comes In Flashes Now shirt never forget the day I was diagnosed. I literally felt, nothing! I wasn’t angry, I didn’t cry, I didn’t scream, I literally sat in my car and thought “this is what it feels like to have cancer.” During treatment, I went into auto mode and became almost robotic. Drs and drugs dictated my existence and my sole purpose in life was to survive. I remember looking in the mirror. I was living in someone else’s body, the figure I saw wasn’t me.
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Precancer I was thin, athletic, with long blonde hair and big blue eyes and I’m Still Hot It Just Comes In Flashes Now shirt now I was a monster. A bald, pale, bloated monster! I remember my last treatment, I checked out on Christmas Eve, was too weak to celebrate with family, but I was home and home for good. What an amazing gift, until the days that followed. For 6 months after I struggled to figure out how I fit in to this new life. For 5 years, every 3 months when I went for another scan I waited for the Drs to tell me, “it’s back”.