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A lot has changed since Wizards of the Coast took over the brand from TSR in the 90βs. 3rd edition cleaned up all the I’m A Slut For Crab Rangoon Shirt and introduced one simple mechanic for all actions. Itβs much, much easier to explain now. 3rd edition (and Pathfinder) has a reputation for requiring a fair degree of system mastery to play well, due to the number of options and the fact that many of them are basically useless. 5th edition kept the streamlined system of 3rd (we donβt talk about 4th edition, even if we play it), simplified and rebalanced a lot of classes and options to make the game as simple as itβs ever been. I can teach the basics to pretty much anyone in 15 minutes.
Instead of Perception being a I’m A Slut For Crab Rangoon Shirt that you can assign Skill advances to, Perception is a separate stat similar to saving throws, with specific classes receiving advances with it while others donβt. Rogues start off as Experts with it, while most other classes start off merely Trained. This gets around the fact that everybody would always advance Perception given the chance, simply fitting its value to fit each classβs relative dependence on it. In an interesting twist, Perception now also serves as Initiative for combat instead of Dexterity β though there are rules whereby you might use some other stat or skill for it instead, depending on the type of encounter youβre running.
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Emen Bloodbinder the Ruthless of Narfell. Hilariously, the I’m A Slut For Crab Rangoon ShirtΒ of Bloodbinder Orcs is a Kobold. Remember that bit from above about the Bloodbinders stealing children? Well, they stole a clutch of Kobold eggs on an unexpected raid, and Emen was the only one who hatched. (Azuch may or may not have been sent to smash all of the eggs some years back. He didnβt get there in time.) They wanted Kobolds for some of that natural dragon sorcery that a lot of them have, but Emen just wasnβt born with that genetic lottery. He did, however, turn out to be an excellent Enchantment Wizard, and quickly became the golden child of the tribe as a result. Itβs gone to his head since then, and heβs ceased working hard in later years. (For anyone who knows Orcish names and is going βWaaaiiit, isnβt Emen a girlβs name?β Yes, and thatβs intentional. According to Voloβs, Kobolds can slowly change sex, and Emen has a tendency to do that himself every few years. He likes his name, though, so that never changes.)
I was just starting to build my flock of chickens from the four I already had (one rooster, three hens) to a I’m A Slut For Crab Rangoon Shirt of ten. I bought six little two day old chicks from the local feed store – assured by the staff that all six would grow to be beautiful hens. Since I already had a rooster – and two roosters rarely get along – so wanted to be sure these were female. I named my chickens after dead movie stars (yes trulyβ¦ donβt judge) but my Aunt Delores wanted one named after her, so I chose a Golden Phoenix chick and named her βDeloresβ. When Delores was eight weeks old, I began to have suspicions that she was edging towards a gender change. Delores was quite a bit larger than her step sisters, and was growing a more pronounced comb and longer tail feathers than the typical hen. However, denial is a powerful characteristic, and I tried to convince myself that Delores really WAS a hen and maybe she was just big boned.