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These include but are not limited to shooting, cutting, beheading, bayonet picking, guillotine cutting, burying alive, flooding, eight pieces in big pieces, five horse split body, two horse split body, stabbing anus, cutting and breaking abdomen, cutting people’s skin, grinding powder body, burning and I Only Love The Caps And My Momma I’m Sorry Shirt, ice cold living people, nails through the top, iron pot stewing people, four limbs nailing wall, disorderly cutting face, cutting and killing children, living anatomy, gas killing, bacteria experiment. Others include taking people as targets (practicing assassination or shooting), throwing cloth bags (putting people into sacks and repeatedly beating them to death), digging eyes, cutting ears, cutting tongue, cutting hands, cutting feet, cutting breasts, stabbing the vulva with knives, nailing the penis with bamboo sticks, lighting the sky light, flying (people sitting on a grenade to detonate), baking live people, rolling nail barrel, biting dead dogs, dog dance (Group dogs biting live people), picking and killing babies with spears, boiling babies, and putting babies upside down in the paddy field. There are countless examples of children, dead babies, split children, etc.

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We typically go to a Christmas Eve candlelight service in the I Only Love The Caps And My Momma I’m Sorry Shirt. Those are crowded but not nearly as packed as the evening services. Then we meet at my sister’s house along with her family, my other sisters and their families, and Mom. Like good Texans we feast on the traditional tamales, accompanied with fresh guacamole, cheese dip, and cold beer. Our kids run around and catch up with their cousins. After dinner it’s Mom’s birthday party! She was born on Christmas Eve. For the last 25 years or so my wife has baked the birthday cake, always with a different recipe. Mom opens her birthday cards and gifts while we enjoy the yummy cake. After that it’s time for the cousins’ gifts. When our children were little all of the adults gave presents to all of the kids. Now that our children are grown they exchange gifts with each other. Sometimes they’re pretty funny. When my nephew completed law school he received an official looking barrister’s wig. He was thrilled.

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It obviously replicates the giving of I Only Love The Caps And My Momma I’m Sorry Shirt, Frankenstein (not autocorrected) and myrrh given by the three (not-so-wise) men. These days, it means spending obscene amounts of money just so you can be in debt until next Christmas. Me & my wife have been together since 2012. For the first few years we exchanged gifts that were probably equivalent to around a week’s salary. As time as moved on, it’s been a case of “how much are we spending on presents this year?” to “are we buying presents this year?” I’m 57 years old. What do I really need (as opposed to want). Well I don’t really need anything. I don’t really want much either. Year upon year, I have trouble thinking what I actually want. This year has been slightly different. Microsoft released a new version of Flight Simulator. I’ve been aircraft mad since 1971 and have bought most of the previous incarnations of the software. The last time I really played the game must be around 10 years ago. (My missus bought me a voucher for a flight sim experience a few years ago, in a 737 simulator). I’ve not used a PC for the majority of the time we’ve been together. I use a laptop for my business accounts (because I use Microsoft Access) but that’s the only reason. I have a MacBook for day-to-day use. I’ve asked a friend to build me a PC that meets the required spec to run the highest version of Flight Sim and my missus is going to pay for the actual game.

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Just for context, I come from a I Only Love The Caps And My Momma I’m Sorry Shirt that takes Christmas very seriously. We’re not religious; for us it’s just a time to get the whole family together and eat too much and drink too much. But as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realise that we approach it with far more enthusiasm than most. I shall be very sad if we’re not able to do our usual Christmas. But I shall be no less sad than many British Jews were back in April, when they had to celebrate Passover in lockdown, or British Sikhs, who celebrated Vaisakhi the same month. I’ll be no less sad than British Muslims were back in May, when they had to do Eid in lockdown, or than British Hindus were on Saturday when they had to do Diwali in lockdown. Why does my cultural celebration take precedence over theirs? Why are the government being so careful to ensure we are not locked down over Christmas when they evidently didn’t give a stuff whether we were locked down over all the above festivals? These are questions worth asking, and it’s a journalist’s job to ask them. The answer may well turn out to be that all of Johnson’s comforting nonsense about being out of lockdown in time for Christmas was just that, and the reality is that he put another lockdown off until he was forced into it. Or it might be that he made a cynical political calculation and determined that he could afford to piss off religious minorities, but couldn’t afford to piss off the majority.

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Although in modern parlance it is called Christmas(Christ mass) and has religious elements, it is in fact hung upon a clothes horse composed of a conglomeration of pagan seasonal observances and I Only Love The Caps And My Momma I’m Sorry Shirt. The feasting elements in particular are pagan rites at the end of autumn and the winter solstice. The bringing of greenery into the home in the form of holly, fir boughs and mistletoe is also a pagan tradition. Christmas trees were introduced into Victorian Britain by Queen Victoria’s consort, Prince Albert who brought the tradition over from his native Germany. The palace did so everyone else copied it and soon it was all the rage. Again a tree decorated with offerings and candles(lights) has it’s roots in Germanic pagan ritual. Much of Christmas owes it’s existence to Roman, Germanic and Celtic pagan traditions that predate Christianity by millennia. Even the folktales of Santa Claus have their roots in pagan traditions from around Europe that have become melded into the figure of Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas or Santa Claus.