You’re hurt, but you’ve still got a lot of Greta Van Fleet picture shirt in you. You are, after all, protecting your home from these invaders. You take aim with your crossbow again, and nail the human in the shoulder. It’s a great shot; he’ll be unable to lift his arm now, much less draw his bow. You dodge the dwarf again, and you still can’t locate the halfling, but then the stupid, annoying elf starts chanting in some obnoxious elf language, and suddenly your well-aimed crossbow bolt magically removes itself from the human’s shoulder, and the wound closes! See, this is why you’ve always hated elves. You know when you’re outmatched, so you turn and run for your secret exit, but as you round the corner, the halfling is suddenly there, and surprises you with a dagger in the ribs. The last thing you see is her little halfling face hanging above you, smiling under a dark gray hood as your breath bubbles with blood in your chest. Your eyes close, and you hear the stupid elf chanting again. Then nothing.
Partly to help put the Alchemist over and Greta Van Fleet picture shirt partly to help fill out the Downtime system, crafting gets a lot more time and attention in Pathfinder 2nd edition’s rules. Characters possess or can find formulas for items, making the knowledge on how to craft an item a treasured commodity, and there exist a whole set of Crafting-based Skill Feats to open up options for magic items, alchemy, and specializations for specific types of items. It’s about the best and most detailed crafting system there’s been, helped by the fact that each item has a level and therefore translates easily into a DC.
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Huzzah! He tries to grapple the guard and Greta Van Fleet picture shirt an attack. You rattle some dice around, not actually caring what they say as the guard “defends” himself. Barb’s hooked his bindings around the guard’s throat and is now using him as a meat flail. Why? Because you don’t want these idiots to die, it’s neat, and everything saner has failed. In the ensuing melee you rattle dice around some more, and press the Players just enough that they feel that they’re challenged, yet still escape mostly intact. Now the key to this improvisation is that you have to work with what the players give you. If they do nothing, well, it’s the gallows then. As long as they keep working the problem, keep giving them things to work with. And damnit, escape by meat-flail is better than anything I’d have come up with myself.
“Night of the Meek” is Christmas Eve. Henry Corwin, a down-and-out ne’er-do-well, dressed in a Greta Van Fleet picture shirt, worn-out Santa Claus suit, has just spent his last few dollars on a sandwich and six drinks at the neighborhood bar. While Bruce, the bartender, is on the phone, he sees Corwin reaching for the bottle; Bruce throws him out. Corwin arrives for his seasonal job as a department store Santa, an hour late and obviously drunk. When customers complain, Dundee, the manager, fires him and orders him off the premises. Corwin says that he drinks because he lives in a “dirty rooming house on a street filled with hungry kids and shabby people” for whom he is incapable of fulfilling his desired role as Santa. He declares that if he had just one wish granted him on Christmas Eve, he’d “like to see the meek inherit the earth”. Still in his outfit, he returns to the bar but is refused re-entry by Bruce. Stumbling into an alley, he hears sleigh bells. A cat knocks down a large burlap bag full of empty cans; but when he trips over it, it is now filled with gift-wrapped packages. As he starts giving them away, he realizes that the bag is somehow producing any item that is asked for. Overjoyed at his sudden ability to fulfill dreams, Corwin proceeds to hand out presents to passing children and then to derelict men attending Christmas Eve service at Sister Florence’s “Delancey Street Mission House”. Irritated by the disruption and outraged by Corwin’s offer of a new dress, Sister Florence hurries outside to fetch Officer Flaherty, who arrests Corwin for stealing the presents from his former place of employment. At the police station, Dundee reaches into the garbage bag to display some of the purportedly stolen goods, but instead finds the empty cans and the cat.
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