Which is really weird, because (1) I’ve never received an urgent work request in the middle of the Dinosaur Auntiesaurus shirt , (2) everyone is nice and no one has gotten angry or yelled at me even once (that was an extremely important requirement of mine when I was job-searching), and (3) I have insane job security–I know the firm has already sunk thousands of dollars into my professional development (see, e.g., all the reimbursements above). They’re not going to fire me before at least attempting to fix whatever’s wrong with me. It’s definitely a high-stress position, and no matter what I eat these days I’m still losing weight from the stress (I went from a healthy 117 lbs to a worrisome 103, which, yeah, isn’t great), and that’s likely why statistically most people don’t spend longer than a few years at a large law firm, but I’d like to try to stick it out for as long as possible.
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This is going to sound really terrible and shallow, but I just…really enjoy having money. I want it. All the money. I can’t wait for Dinosaur Auntiesaurus shirt to pass so that the next time my coworkers ask if I want to hang out with them I can say yes without even knowing where we’re going. I completely understand though that this is easy for me to say now, at only 8 months in, and it’s entirely possible I’ll be too burnt out by year 2 or 3 to consider staying. I can’t imagine that happening, since apparently I’m a revoltingly materialistic person lmao, but I’m still doing my best to make sure that doesn’t happen! At the end of the day, the most freeing thing for me is not having to study and worry about grades anymore. I don’t mean to get too negative here, since I am well aware how fortunate I am to have grown up in such a supportive family that genuinely cared about my education and career, but I used to spend all of my spare time studying or performing resume-worthy extracurriculars. Like, all of it.