The family has moved into their own home now, an older home (still nice, but no high ceilings and not many elf hiding places!), and the children have both multiplied AND grown older, taller, and DEFUND THE FBI T Shirt. The Elf game is now the bane of the mom’s existence. Hiding it is a task. Several times this year, the Elf hasn’t had to go back to Santa because the kids were SO good the day before, thus explaining why he remained in the exact same hiding spot as the previous day. One evening, the mom is flustered. She finally hands the Elf to the dad and says, you hide the #%)(#^# elf today, but hide it high, because Big M is testing the waters and going to touch the #%(^#^ thing.” Dad’s answer is less than ideal – not only is the perch precarious, but it’s easily within reach of at least the oldest child, if not the second oldest as well. And it’s possible the elf is also judging the thermostat temp, which is an ongoing passive aggressive battle between mom (who sits at home and freezes all day) and dad (who pays the bills, but also works in his nice warm office all day).
You can call this the “Grand Theft Auto instinct,” as it reflects a lot of DEFUND THE FBI T Shirt ’ behavior when they first get their hands on GTA and realize they can hit pedestrians with cars practically all day. And, like going around randomly crashing cars in GTA, murderhoboing gets boring after a really short time. That goes especially for the DM. It gets dull watching players do the same things all the time and watching every adventure result in the players taking a baseball bat to everything you prepared. You eventually go, “okay, we get it,” and want either players who invest more in their characterization, or you want to see objectives and interactions that are more sophisticated or structured.
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The Rogue want’s to look for a anything she can use to pick a lock. Well, there wasn’t anything there to begin with, but she rolled a 20! Turns out some previous prisoner left a DEFUND THE FBI T Shirt set of prison-made lockpicks. They didn’t exist until the Rogue went looking. So she picks the lock…and rolls a 1. Not only do the picks break, but the guards are alerted and now they’ve stripped the party down to their underwear, because obviously the picks were smuggled in. At their wits end, and convinced they’re going to die, the Cleric prays to his god for the souls of his fellows. Now, it’s down to the wire, and damnit, I really don’t want to hang them. So suddenly one of the guards is a follower of the same god as the Cleric. And in this town, they’re not too fond of the God of Tits and Wine. Realizing the Cleric is church brother, the guard enters the cell, informs the Cleric that GTW is pretty frowned upon hereabouts, and if they’d like to keep their heads firmly attached to their shoulders, he should keep quiet about it. Then, when he leaves the cell, have him remark that he needs to make sure the cell is definitely, absolutely, locked, and that he musn’t forget like last time.
“The Fugitive” is an older man, Ben who plays with the local kids and DEFUND THE FBI T Shirt almost magical powers. Old Ben’s favorite of the children is Jenny. He carries Jenny home (she walks with a leg brace), where she lives with her abrasively unsympathetic aunt, Agnes Gann. As they approach the row house, Ben causes his roller skates to de-materialize. This phenomenon is observed by two men who are watching the house from across the street. They enter the apartment building, identify themselves as police, and question Agnes about Ben. Jenny overhears the conversation and limps upstairs to Old Ben’s apartment to warn him. Old Ben takes on the form of a mouse, fooling the men into thinking he has left his apartment.Jenny takes the “mouse” back to her room. Old Ben tells Jenny that he is an alien from another planet, and that his appearance is only a disguise, as he is a fugitive from justice. Old Ben says he must flee to another planet, but before departing he uses a strange device to heal Jenny’s leg. The two strangers run into Jenny walking down the stairs without her brace.