My ex was undiagnosed schizophrenic for the firdt 4 years of our relationship.. He would fly into rages tell Dog American flag 4th of july independence day shirt where he would scream racial slurs, sexist slurs, violent things etc. He would break my windows with his head.. Things wers hard.. I got sick while I was with him. So sick I couldnt walk or stand. My brother took 24 tabs of acid a few weeks before dying and told me that my bf was making me sick. I got defensive but we stayed cool. Ibtold my bro the dr put me on synthetic opiates for my sickness and he begged me to get off of them.. Told me to sip lean instead, ha.
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When he died I couldnt take any more opiates so I quit then cold turkey. The hospital wouldnt treat me without insurance they just offered me Dog American flag 4th of july independence day shirt lol. So, I stayed awake for 8 days. Wide awake. Running, sweating, vomiting, and meditating. By thd 8th day I felt AMAZING. Too amazing… It was my first manic episode with psychotic features. I started doing crazy math things haha and I thought I was going to somehow cure the abuse in my family like a goddamn savior. I randomly told everyone in my fam that my dad sexually abused me.. Which aside from him groping me and making me strip for belt spanking at questionable ages.. I cant tell exactly if he abused me to the extent that I think he did.. I have some flashbacks that are confusing and they correlate to a spot on my stomach that feels like knives when its touched.