For the first time in my 42 years, we will not have a big Thanksgiving. It’s the Crufty Cow Pie shirt I give two shits about. I’ve been hosting the last 5 years since my grandma died. Everything is done a specific way and everyone has their tasks. I’ve done the turkey since my grandpa died. I also do prep. My mom makes the corn pudding. My wife makes the green bean casserole. My mom makes vegetarian stuffing (yes, she’s a Satanist). I do not do turkey stuffing because I don’t like it. I make the gravy with the drippings and the contents of the turkey cavity. My aunt makes roles and cranberry sauce. My dad and uncle do nothing. I keep the fire going. My kids entertain.
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This year. It s just myself, my wife, and Crufty Cow Pie shirt. It’s going to be quiet. No fun arguments around the fire. No banging into each other while everyone fights for the oven. No squabbling about politics. No waffles and ice cream at 6AM so people can make it until 3pm for dinner. (Yes, it must be 3pm, those are the rules).