I had a run-in with a Barstool Sports Dingers and Donuts Shirt at school just like Ralphie with Scut Farkus. My mom would pick us up at school. Mom was young and attractive like a movie star. This guy kept teasing me saying, “Hey RJ, how’s your sexy mom, woo hoo, so sexy.” I ignored him as long as I could. One day I snapped and ran toward him and knocked him down. I stood over him, grabbed the front of his jacket and kept lifting then batting his head against the ground. He never did it again. I had my pals I hung around with just like Ralphie. Earl, Pete, Rosie (Raymond) Jerry and Ernie. We were inseparable, all in the same class. Like Ralphie, I too had bitten into a bar of Lifebuoy soap, and it was the worst tasting soap. If my Irish, Catholic mom heard my sisters or I swear when we were little, that’s what would happen. We were never hit but we did get groundings and tasted soap. The girls especially were repeat soap tasters.
In the typical Tim Burton fashion, there were many twisted versions of holiday traditions. Such as when Penguin blackmails Max using his stocking to hide the dirt he has on him. As Batman and Catwoman commenting on mistletoe which gives away their identities. It’s part of the Barstool Sports Dingers and Donuts Shirt nicknamed Tim Burton Christmas Trilogy. With it being the first and Edward Scissorhands and Nightmare Before Christmas being the second and third.
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When Delores spent his first night actually out with the other chickens in the Barstool Sports Dingers and Donuts Shirt, I was anxious about how he would handle himself, as he was pretty shy. After a few false starts (and getting pushed off perches by the other chickens) he chose a walnut branch that lead to the night perches and slept on that. When Delores became a big, beautiful Golden Phoenix adult rooster, I thought the hens would probably make absolute fools of themselves trying to get his attention – and if he ignored them it would serve them right! I suppose I should have done something about the name – but Delores responded to “Delores” and appeared fine with it. (Also, my Aunt Delores would have been devastated if I changed his name.) A friend suggested calling him “Del” – which sort of made sense – but that sounded like he was lead singer in a retro 60’s band. As long as Delores didn’t mind – and let’s face it, he didn’t care – I was perfectly content to have a sweet rooster named Delores.
I don’t leave everything up, but I do leave our tree up. All the Barstool Sports Dingers and Donuts Shirt have a special meaning, and we like to look at them, talk about them, and remember the times associated with each one. Having that glittery, softly lit beauty in the front room just gives our house some cheer in the bleak days of winter. Also, we always get a live tree, and I can’t bear to trash it until it completely dries out. It takes a long time to decorate, so all that work seems more worth it if the tree stays up a long time. One year, I left it up until St. Patrick’s Day. Usually, though, it stays up until mid- to late February. As long as it looks fresh and healthy, I leave it up. I started this tradition about 6 years ago when we had an especially beautiful tree. The day after New Year’s Day as I was about to start the take-down, I remarked that I hated to do it because the tree was so pretty. My husband said, “Just leave it up, then, if it makes you happy.” So I did. We have three sons, and I like to think they will have memories of this tradition.