I’m Not Short I’m Pooh Size Shirt

My plan two years ago…before I got pregnant…was to find something that would illustrate just HOW done I was with the swimwear options on the I’m Not Short I’m Pooh Size Shirt, and I had come up with the perfect solution. I was going to find me some swim leggings, a swim sports bra, and a long-sleeved swim shirt with, I don’t know, maybe a mock turtleneck. Just a little one, to show everybody at the pool that I wasn’t messing around anymore.

I’m Not Short I’m Pooh Size Shirt, Youth tee, V-neck, Sweater and Unisex, t-shirt

Which brings us back to my present-day conundrum, a mom of five children with a most tenacious postpartum physique, who is looking for the perfect swim ensemble without having to leave my house because if I leave my house, I’m going to sit in my quiet car and eat a Chipotle Cheese Steak from Jersey Mike’s, not squeeze myself into a hot dressing room in the I’m Not Short I’m Pooh Size Shirt of a Dillard’s with a pile of two-sizes-bigger-than-I-wear-in-normal-clothes swimsuits with tropical prints that look like they came straight off of a vinyl tablecloth from Dollar General.

Best I’m Not Short I’m Pooh Size Shirt

I’m sure the way I was standing didn’t help. You know how you stand when you are showing someone an outfit that you don’t feel comfortable in? Your shoulders are hunched forward, like I’m Not Short I’m Pooh Size Shirt that they won’t see you all the way, and your eyebrows are expectant like Winnie the Pooh’s, but your smile is more like a grimace that is begging someone, anyone, to find tjlh]