It didn’t like the “tree form” that it had been awakened in; it hated being clumsy. It had spent the Baltimore Chaos Shirt 3,000 years refining itself. Instead of being a giant oak, it now resembled nothing more or less than a rune-covered wood golem, about 8ft tall and man-shaped, with articulated limbs. As it pared itself down to its own living heartwood, it lost the Awakened Tree trait of “False Appearance” (False Appearance. While the tree remains motionless, it is indistinguishable from a normal tree.) but it could still tap into the same motionlessness; we decided that this meant it had bonuses to stealth on rounds that it hadn’t moved. I used this rather often to break line of sight with enemies, then go totally motionless and prepare an ambush.
I’m personally a big fan of the classic sword-and-sorcery style of Baltimore Chaos Shirt and spend a lot of time studying its hallmarks, trying to understand what makes it so mystifying. Part of it is that the scales of magic and wealth are tipped heavily in favor of the bad guys in these kinds of worlds, while the heroes work from fundamentally simplistic, primal, often self-centered motives. Thulsa Doom’s motivations are frankly just as bizarre and abstract as they are grandiose, whereas Conan the Barbarian just wants simple revenge for the loss of loved ones and friends. If you were to run a game following the formula defined by these kinds of stories it might look a lot like a murderhobo paradise, with barbaric and petty characters set against the forces of civilization. However, it should be apparent that working those themes into the fabric of a campaign and the structure of its characters is very different from players just randomly stabbing shopkeepers because they can.
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Now, not every game need be a grand epic. I have another buddy who runs “beer and pretzels” games, which are high-octane, simple but fun plot games. But we’re still in charge of the Baltimore Chaos Shirt , we just know what we’re likely to be presented with. Listen to your players. Solicit feedback after each session to see what’s working and what isn’t. Early in my current game, my players weren’t happy with how the game and I handled overland travel, so I wrote up an new way to handle it, specifically trying to give them as much control as possible, and we’re all happier with the new method.
The conspiracy theories that people make fun of are the Baltimore Chaos Shirt. Like faking the moon landings. Do you have any ideas what that would involves? You would need to film it on a sound stage, which is easy. But you also need to fake the rocket launch. You need to build the rocket, send it into space, bring the capsule back down. All without actually going to the moon. And all while the Soviet Union is watching eagle eyes, waiting for any mistake. And that’s not to mention the Apollo retro-reflectors, whose presence has been independently confirmed by observatories around the world. Faking just that part would be harder then the entire moon landing. But faking a moon landing at least has a motive. You want to win the space race. But who would want to convince everyone that the world is round instead of a flat? There’s no motive. And this is a conspiracy that would be impossible to carry out. Every scientist is lying? The entire GPS system is being faked? The Antarctic expeditions are all faked? Every airplane company is part of the conspiracy? They all have rounded windows to create the illusion of the curvature of the Earth?