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Dasher – one who dashes, Dancer – one who dances, Prancer – one who prances, Vixen – a female fox, presumably from the similar colors, Comet – an object in the heavens that resembles a Call Of Duty Shi No Numa Shirts – Cupid – a flying pixie who resembles the image of a Greek God – Donner – the German word for Thunder, Blitzen – the German word for lightning. They are made up names, they weren’t older than the poem. The goats could be images of Thor’s chariot of goats, but they were made up by the writer of the poem “A visit from St. Nicholas” and in that poem, Nicholas is an elf about a foot tall, jolly and fat, but not human-sized. Doesn’t look like Nicholas of Myra, with a bishop’s mitre who rides a horse in the Netherlands and arrives on a boat from Spain. It’s a poem from American legend, not from European belief, from Dutch forbears living in New England. Period. American mythology has pervaded the world from a single poem that got printed up by the Coca-Cola company.
At the time of writing, all rolls are done with a Call Of Duty Shi No Numa Shirts equal to your character level + relevant ability score modifier, then modified by your proficiency. A character can be Untrained (-4), Trained (+0), Expert (+1), Master (+2), or Legendary (+3). When 2nd edition is fully released these values might change, but this system for Proficiency applies to weapons, armor, skills, and saves. Yes, by the by — even your AC and Touch AC are heavily level-dependent and factor this in, such that your character level is likely to make up a much larger part of your AC than your armor at a certain point. While not many classes actually advance proficiency in armor, Monks notably get Expertise in unarmored defense to start with. It’s worth noting that monsters function based on this system as well, rather than being based on Challenge Rating. You don’t fight a CR 2 monster, you fight a level 2 monster, and as a level 2 monster it will gain a flat +2 bonus to everything, modified by ability score mods and proficiency. This creates a very hard “tiering” effect between combatants of different levels, such that an opponent several levels above you will feel incredibly hard while an opponent as little as a single level below you will feel very easy.
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When we start hitting Adult Dragons, though, it’s a problem. Most PCs can’t keep up with the Call Of Duty Shi No Numa Shirts at all. Dragons can fly 80′ on their turn, then on the PC’s turn use a Legendary Action to move another 40′. A PC must be able to fly and cover 120′ in a turn to even keep up with the dragon and attack it, meaning melee is not going to be very helpful. Archers are what are effective. And this is before Dragon Fear — any characters with bad Wisdom Saves are not even gonna be able to move closer to the dragon. A Fighter *might* be able to solo an adult dragon, if he’s level 11 and geared to the gills and prepped properly. They might be able to burst it down in a round or three, and can survive a couple of rounds of Legendary actions and breath. Probably. Higher level makes it easier, and a level 20 fighter can probably easily dispatch an adult dragon in one round, which is important because if he doesn’t catch the dragon in 1 round it could just kite him flying around waiting for his breath to recharge. Fighter would need to be decked out with flying gear — an Eagle Whistle would help catch up to the flying dragon and shoot it down.
The conspiracy theories that people make fun of are the Call Of Duty Shi No Numa Shirts. Like faking the moon landings. Do you have any ideas what that would involves? You would need to film it on a sound stage, which is easy. But you also need to fake the rocket launch. You need to build the rocket, send it into space, bring the capsule back down. All without actually going to the moon. And all while the Soviet Union is watching eagle eyes, waiting for any mistake. And that’s not to mention the Apollo retro-reflectors, whose presence has been independently confirmed by observatories around the world. Faking just that part would be harder then the entire moon landing. But faking a moon landing at least has a motive. You want to win the space race. But who would want to convince everyone that the world is round instead of a flat? There’s no motive. And this is a conspiracy that would be impossible to carry out. Every scientist is lying? The entire GPS system is being faked? The Antarctic expeditions are all faked? Every airplane company is part of the conspiracy? They all have rounded windows to create the illusion of the curvature of the Earth?