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Mom and dad also took us to the Santa Claus parade. They made sure Tracy went pee before the Funny Trendy Sarcastic In Need Of A Mega Pint Of Wine T Shirt because dad didn’t want to take her somewhere to find a bathroom during the parade. Something that he would have had to do if she didn’t go. And she went a lot. We would walk and look into the department store windows and see the toys and moving elves that the kids saw in the movie. Like Ralphie, I would get mom to order things for me from the comics, neat little gadgets they advertised. I had a run-in with a bully at school just like Ralphie with Scut Farkus. My mom would pick us up at school. Mom was young and attractive like a movie star. This guy kept teasing me saying, “Hey RJ, how’s your sexy mom, woo hoo, so sexy.” I ignored him as long as I could. One day I snapped and ran toward him and knocked him down. I stood over him, grabbed the front of his jacket and kept lifting then batting his head against the ground. He never did it again. I had my pals I hung around with just like Ralphie. Earl, Pete, Rosie (Raymond) Jerry and Ernie. We were inseparable, all in the same class. Like Ralphie, I too had bitten into a bar of Lifebuoy soap, and it was the worst tasting soap. If my Irish, Catholic mom heard my sisters or I swear when we were little, that’s what would happen. We were never hit but we did get groundings and tasted soap. The girls especially were repeat soap tasters.

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I tell them no one really knows what Santa looks like because there are many tellings of the story and what he wears and does. The important thing is Santa is a magical incarnation of love and generosity. I tell them that we are all Santa’s helpers — for instance, we bought gifts that underprivileged children from a community center aske for. We told them that they didn’t have parents who could buy them gifts so we were helping them out, because we could. We used the analogy from Buddhist story about God being like the salt added to water that is invisible but can be tasted. You can’t see love either, only the effects of love. Santa is like that, too. You don’t have to see it to believe it. The Santa stories are handy shortcuts to teach moral lessons. We are en Funny Trendy Sarcastic In Need Of A Mega Pint Of Wine T Shirtd to cherry pick the stories– Santa does not behave very Santa-like in many representations. In the animated Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, he is not supportive of Rudolph, the misfit elf, and the misfit toys until the veil comes off his eyes. We don’t need to endorse a Santa like that, except to say that Santa is only human and can make some bad choices like anyone else. I also don’t endorse the Naughty or Nice story, and the creepy Elf on the Shelf surveillance system.

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Delores, at ten weeks old, was quickly getting integrated into the Funny Trendy Sarcastic In Need Of A Mega Pint Of Wine T Shirt of the flock. Because these six little chicks started out in an aquarium with a heat lamp in my study, then moved to a large hamster cage, then finally outside in a cage kept inside the barn, the grown chickens had all slowly acclimated to seeing Delores and his sisters. However, the first few times I put the babies in the open with the hens, I cautiously supervised the meeting. There was blustering and a little pushing by the big chickens – similar to what you might see on a junior high playground the first week of school – but nothing too severe. Once when the largest hen, Joan Crawford, pulled at Delores’s tail, he ran to me and flew into my arms – but when I scolded Joan and she stalked off to pout, Delores was brave enough to go back and try again. The pecking order shook out fairly easily within a couple days, with Delores towards the middle.

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First, I wouldn’t tell anyone that I only had 10 days left unless it was necessary because I wouldn’t need sympathy or want it. I wouldn’t want to be the Funny Trendy Sarcastic In Need Of A Mega Pint Of Wine T Shirt that no one looks in the eyes because her life is limited. I would just want to be treated normally for my remaining time. I would show all the people I love how much they mean. I would shower them with presents and gifts and donate as much as I could to charity. After all, what use is money to the dead? I would tell the boy I love the truth. All of it, with no editing, regardless of the consequences. I would say goodbye and thank him. I would tell my friends how much I care for them, how much they have helped me grow as a person and how much they mean to me. On the last day, I would tell my parents and family how much I love them and thank them for all they have done.

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I think what happens is that people watch television shows like Leave it to Beaver, My Three Sons or Father Knows Best and think that is the 1950s and 1960s. From my experience, those people lived like what we call the “1%” nowadays. You would have to be extremely wealthy in 1965 to afford the Funny Trendy Sarcastic In Need Of A Mega Pint Of Wine T Shirt of lifestyle you see on these shows. They all also seemed to end up in Hawaii. I had relatives that were considered relatively wealthy. They couldn’t afford to go to Hawaii until the 1980s, when competition brought down airline tickets and computers at travel agencies made comparison shopping possible. Plane tickets also had to be purchased face to face. This meant driving to the airport and paying with cash. Then it was near impossible to comparison shop unless you lived in Los Angeles, New York or Chicago. Your local airport may only have one or two airlines from which to choose in the 50s and 60s. That just reminded me of another thing in the 1960s. To learn the simplest bit of information, you had to make a drive to a city with a decent sized public library. That was about 3 hours each way for us.