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Allow me to set the stage. It’s eight years ago. There’s me in my bedroom, pants hanging down around my Yeah I’m Vaccinated Testosterone Trenbolone Shirt and tissues at the ready, basking in the luminescent glow of my computer monitor. Age: early-twenties. Aspirations: zero. Appearance: mediocre. Relationship Status: recently dumped. Job Status: recently fired. Reason to continue existing: Pending. I’ll be honest, I was in quite a pathetic state of affairs. An awful downtrodden state where one would make questionable judgements. In my case these questionable judgements just so happened to land me in a life-or-death situation. Could happen to anyone really.
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That night, I was sent an email about three and a half strokes into my nightly meat tending session. A bit annoyed Yeah I’m Vaccinated Testosterone Trenbolone Shirt, I opened it up to see it was a notice that I had won an all-expenses paid vacation to some luxurious island resort. I racked my head for a few moments, trying to remember if I entered any lottery when I remembered a chance meeting I had while filling my car with gas a couple days back. It was outside the local QT where this bald gangly looking man, who I was certain must have been a meth addict, approached me. I must admit, he was pretty well-dressed for someone who looked to be cosplaying an emaciated Nosferatu. Now Nosferatu here came to me with the enthusiasm of a used car salesmen as he introduced himself. I don’t remember his name because honestly, I didn’t really care to register it or anything. He was holding in his hand this tiny travel brochure, detailing a nice little island retreat in what I would later come to find was also situated on another plane of existence.
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